I did my first full Qi gong exercise as taught by Dr. Wu "Qi gong for Total Wellness"  At one point you "send your eyes out into the Universe"  I go beyond the Universe and end up in...well...heaven.  Today I got the message to connect to the Galactic Center.  Anyone who knows me knows I dislike these Metaphysical made up terms.  I find them full of hubris.

Although, I do try to follow my guidance.  So I did.  I connected to this "Galactic Center" and found myself instantly grounded and centered within myself.

Today might not come again but, the choices we are offered will. If we choose wisely then the choice returns at a higher level of consciousness, if we choose poorly then the choice returns in a more difficult form, the choices are always offered again in some form or another.

 

Forgiveness.  In so many situations I have learn forgiveness to heal. When I first read "A Forgiveness Meditation" by Stephen Levine in his book "healing through life and death" it became my most powerful thought.  I started forgiving people throughout my life and asking for their forgiveness.  Today as I was working out I thought about my life and it hit me. I have not forgiven my life!  Life itself is a living breathing thing and as such creates situations for you to make you stronger or learn etc.  I needed to forgive my life!  I've been very blessed throughout my life in many many ways. There are things though I thought could have been better.  So I relaxed, closed my eyes and brought my life into my heart.

A FORGIVENESS MEDITATION
© 1991 Stephen Levine
[To be read slowly to a friend or silently to oneself.]
Begin to reflect for a moment on what the work “forgiveness” might mean.
What is forgiveness? What might it be to bring forgiveness into one’s life, into one’s mind? Begin by slowly bringing into your mind, into your heart, the image of someone for whom you have some resentment.
Gently allow a picture, a feeling, a sense of them to gather there.
Gently now invite them into your heart just for this moment.
Notice whatever fear or anger may arise to limit or deny their entrance
and soften gently all about it.
No force.
Just an experiment in truth which invites this person in.
And silently in your heart say to this person, “I forgive you.”
Open to a sense of their presence and say, “I forgive you for whatever pain you may have caused me in the past, intentionally or unintentionally, through your words, your thoughts, your actions.
However you may have caused me pain in the past, I forgive you.”
Feel for even a moment the spaciousness relating to that person with the possibility of forgiveness.
Let go of those walls, those curtains of resentment, so that your heart may be free.
So that your life may be lighter.
“I forgive you for whatever you may have done that caused me pain, intentionally or unintentionally, through your actions, through your words, even through your thoughts, through whatever you did.
Through whatever you didn’t do.
However the pain came to me through you, I forgive you.
I forgive you.”
It is so painful to put someone out of your heart.
Let go of that pain.
Let them be touched for this moment at least with the warmth of your forgiveness.
“I forgive you, I forgive you.”
Allow that person to just be there in the stillness, in the warmth and patience of the heart.
Let them be forgiven.
Let the distance between you dissolve in mercy and compassion.
Let it be so.
Now, having finished so much business, dissolved in forgiveness, allow that being to go on their way.
Not pushing or pulling them from the heart, but simply letting them be on their own way, touched by a blessing and the possibility of your forgiveness.
And now gently, giving yourself whatever time is necessary, allow the other person to dissolve as you invite another in.
Now gently bring into your mind, into your heart, the image, the sense, of someone who has resentment for you.
Someone whose heart is closed to you.
Notice whatever limits their entrance and soften all about that hardness.
Let it float.
Mercifully invite them into your heart and say to them, “I ask your forgiveness.”
“I ask your forgiveness.”
“I ask to be let back into your heart.
That you forgive me for whatever I may have done in the past that caused you pain, intentionally or unintentionally, through my words, my actions, even through my thoughts.”
“However I may have hurt or injured you, whatever confusion, whatever fear of mind caused you pain, I ask your forgiveness.”
And allow yourself to be touched by their forgiveness.
Allow yourself to be forgiven.
Allow yourself back into their heart.
Have mercy on you.
Have mercy on them.
Allow them to forgive you.
Feel their forgiveness touch you.
Receive it.
Draw it into your heart.
“I ask your forgiveness for however I may have caused you pain in the past.
Through my anger, through my lust, through my fear, my ignorance,
my blindness, my doubt, my confusion.
However I may have caused you pain, I ask that you let me back into your heart.
I ask your forgiveness.”
Let it be.
Allow yourself to be forgiven.
If the mind attempts to block forgiveness with merciless indictments, recriminations, judgments, just see the nature of the unkind mind.
See how merciless we are with ourselves.
And let this unkind mind be touched by the warmth and patience of forgiveness.
Let your heart touch this other heart so that it may receive forgiveness.
So that it may feel whole again.
Let it be.
And now gently bid that person adieu and with a blessing let them be on their way, having even for a millisecond shared the one heart beyond the confusion of seemingly separate minds.
And now gently turn to yourself in your own heart and say, “I forgive you,” to you.
It is so painful to put ourselves out of our hearts.
Say, “I forgive you,” to yourself.
Calling out to yourself in your heart, using your own first name, say “I forgive you,” to you.
If the mind interposes with hard thoughts, such as that it is self indulgent to forgive oneself, if it judges, if it touches you with anger and unkindness,
just feel that hardness and let it soften at the edge.
Let it be touched by forgiveness.
Allow yourself back into your heart.
Allow you to be forgiven by you.
Let the world back into your heart.
Allow yourself to be forgiven.
Let that forgiveness fill your whole body.
Feel the warmth and care that wishes your own well-being.
Seeing yourself as if you were your only child, let yourself be bathed by this mercy and kindness.
Let yourself be loved.
See your forgiveness forever awaiting your return to your heart.
How unkind we are to ourselves.
How little mercy.
Let it go.
Allow you to embrace yourself with forgiveness.
Know that in this moment you are wholly and completely forgiven.
Now it is up to you just to allow it in.
See yourself in the infinitely compassionate eyes of the Buddha, in the sacred heart of Jesus, in the warm embrace of the Goddess.
Let yourself be loved.
Let yourself be love.
And now begin to share this miracle of forgiveness, of mercy and awareness.
Let it extend out to all the people around you.
Let all be touched by the power of forgiveness.
All those beings who also have known such pain.
Who have so often put themselves and others out of their hearts.
Who have so often felt isolated, so lost.
Touch them with your forgiveness, with your mercy and loving kindness, that they too may be healed just as you wish to be.
Feel the heart we all share filled with forgiveness so that we all might be whole.
Let the mercy keep radiating outward until it encompasses the whole planet.
The whole planet floating in your heart, I mercy, in loving kindness, in care.
May all sentient beings be freed of their suffering, of their anger, of their confusion, of their fear,
of their doubt.
May all beings know the joy of their true nature.
May all beings be free from suffering.
Whole world floating in the heart.
All beings freed of their suffering.
All beings’ hearts open, minds clear.
All beings at peace.
May all beings at every level of reality, on every plane of existence, may they all be freed of their suffering.
May they all be at peace.
May we heal the world, touching it again and again with forgiveness.
May we heal our hearts and the hearts of those we love by merging in forgiveness,
by merging in peace.

Feeling  the feeling of Love I have found it very challenging (a good challenge) to Keep feeling love. why can't we feel love all the time.  I believe it is because we are conditioned, if you will, to expect something back when we love, whether it is love in return, money, friendship, quid pro quo. We place a condition on our love.  We started out as naturally loving beings but, sometimes that love wasn't returned or the other person wasn't doing their job for us.  So we made our love conditional. Getting something in return.  When i first started dating I fell in love quite easily.  My relationships would end with the other person saying you are smothering me with your love. I believe I was just loving and the other person did not have the capacity to accept that love.  In reality there were times I remember hoping the person would love me back as much as I loved them. They didn't have that capability to do that. It's like giving a gift.  Sometimes it is wanted and appreciated for what it is and sometimes the other person feels an obligation to return in some kind the kindness you have shown and sometimes you expect to get something of equal value in return.
What we don't realize is the love we give does not have to be returned to us.  It can be given to someone else to keep the flow of love moving so it will not stagnate. It will eventually come back to us perhaps not by the person we gifted but, from someone else that was gifted by another.

Have you been editing your life? Instead of allowing the Presence Within to give to you freely have you been dictating what you  do and don't want to experience actually avoiding what it is you don't want? As it has been said before the universe works in spirals not directly.

So your life does not go directly to it's objective. I have fought the flow and paid the price but, now I am allowing and going with the flow and reaping the rewards.

Sometimes we fear that something bad will happen to us if we just let go. But, if you are feeling love, just feeling love feeling that joy, nothing bad will happen to you.  You are protected by love. Challenges will come up.  When we are challenged we are offered a choice, perhaps several choices. You make the choice from that feeling of love and/or joy. We can know immediately after we make the choice whether it was a choice that progresses you, stagnates you or reverses your direction. Listen.  Listen to your heart and your inner beingness. Often when we have bad dreams or nightmares it is our self conscious telling us to wake up we are not listening to the direction that we are being given. Feel love.

So often we look at  our imperfections and focus on them rather than looking on  our perfections and expanding them.  Within all of us is a part that is perfect.  That is free of dis-ease full of health and happiness.  There is also a place of peace.  If you could imagine going within to meet up with that part of you that is perfect in your place of peace.  Imagine the surroundings. what is it that makes this a place of peace? What are the colors of this place.  The feeling of this place, the smell of this place. The sites and sounds of this place.  Once you have it firmly in your mind allow that perfect part of you to come in.  Again, feel what it would be like to be perfect. Feel the body you would have if you had perfect health being perfectly happy and in joy. Even if you have difficulty in imagining perfection feel the perfect energy and allow it to saturate your body.

Follow your heart. Most people follow the money. Which ironically is what police do in murder investigations. Stop killing yourself! Follow your heart and the money will follow you.

I am a chemical petri dish!  I have done so many drugs in my life both for health and recreation.  I now live on at least ten meds a day for heart diabetes etc.  I am sitting here meditating and saying I want to be pure again!  I want to cleanse all these drugs and impurity from my body.  My inner voice my presence within tells me "You are pure." "all of the substance you have taken in is an illusion." "You can force it from your cells and let it drain away." go to the part of you that is perfect. perfection and raise your physical body to that vibration.  Take on the vibration of a perfect body and allow it to vibrate off the imperfections the darkness. This perfect body is not who you were when you were born or who you were growing up but the pure perfect form of who you truly are. 

Follow your heart!  It is the greatest advice anyone can ever give. Your heart  won't lead you directly to the place you want to go but, it will lead you to places where you will learn the things you will need when you get to where you want to go.